Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You are the jesus of drinking
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
