So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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