either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Randomize
