My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
