You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
