Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
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