You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
The uberlube is also flammable
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
