no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
