You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
