This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
