Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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