Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
