Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
