Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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