I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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