Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
