I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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