dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
