I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Sorry about my life...
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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