Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
