In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize