You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
