we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
