and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
