Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
