If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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