He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
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