dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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