dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
