This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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