Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize