I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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