bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
She's not a foreskin expert like you
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
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