I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
