My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
