She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
