If i come over, it means nothing
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
