And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize