Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Randomize
