I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Ladies don't puke and tell
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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