Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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