they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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