Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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