TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
