evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
