I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
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