Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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