i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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