im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
