how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
