I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
