I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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