He told me they were just razor bumps!
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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