Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
