can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
