fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
