Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
