Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
