what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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