When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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