I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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