he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
