I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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