She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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