I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
