A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
