he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
