This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
