xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
