Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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