Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
