rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
