yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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