we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
The uberlube is also flammable
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
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