thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
